Costard

oh, dear Costard, I feel so sorry for you. You didn't even last five minutes into the play and already you have to only eat Bran and water. blech, and I though Raisin Bran was bad enough to eat every day. I would imagine that there was no sugar in that bran though. I love the word play that Costard does with Ferdinand in order to get out of his punishment for being with a girl. It's brilliant.

FERDINAND
Ay, the best for the worst. But, sirrah, what say
you to this?

COSTARD
Sir, I confess the wench.

FERDINAND
Did you hear the proclamation?

COSTARD
I do confess much of the hearing it but little of
the marking of it.

FERDINAND
It was proclaimed a year's imprisonment, to be taken
with a wench.

COSTARD
I was taken with none, sir: I was taken with a damsel.

FERDINAND
Well, it was proclaimed 'damsel.'

COSTARD
This was no damsel, neither, sir; she was a virgin.

FERDINAND
It is so varied, too; for it was proclaimed 'virgin.'

COSTARD
If it were, I deny her virginity: I was taken with a maid.

FERDINAND
This maid will not serve your turn, sir.

COSTARD
This maid will serve my turn, sir.

FERDINAND
Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast
a week with bran and water.

COSTARD
I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.